Parental Concerns
It would be completely unnatural if you as a Mum or Dad did not
have lots of concerns about your children before and during their stay at
University.
Will they get the grades they want to achieve their first choice?
Will they choose a University and Degree Course where they will be happy
and thrive?
Can they cope living away from home?
Will their accommodation be safe?
Will they make new friends – the right type of friends?
Will their new found freedom get carried away with all night partying, excessive
drinking or drugs?
Can they manage their finances without getting into serious debt?
Can they cope with high pressure study?
Will the numerous distractions cause them to flunk their exams?
We cannot answer all of your concerns, but this section of the website is designed to give you a few helpful tips and tell you where more expert advice is available.The most worrying time for parents is usually when your child is a fresher in their first term. Most universities try to put freshers into their Halls of Residence, where they can find their feet and assistance is at hand. Spaces in Hall are usually limited and often your child will be asked to move to their own rented accommodation in their second or third year. That involves another bout of worry for you, but at least they will have made many new friends and can start to explore different accommodation possibilities with plenty of time.
Click to Freshers for more detail on the usual concerns.
Many graduates will tell you that their time at university was the happiest time of their life! Despite the high pressure studying environment, students can have a whale of a time, letting their hair down and enjoying that first real taste of freedom from parental control. If they did not enjoy all of the numerous opportunities for entertainment and extra curricular activities, they would probably suffer from severe stress instead – so don’t begrudge them their freedom. You are unlikely to be able to restrain them from overdoing it on entertainment until they have blown their initial budget – so concentrate on helping them out when they accept they need your help. It’s just a fact of life that the typical university environment offers opportunities for drink, late night partying, free love and regrettably drugs.
We are not experts on welfare counselling and the best we can do is to point you in the direction of information and advice in the section Sex, Drink & Drugs.
You cannot treat an 18 year old the same way as a 12 year old. It’s going to be a huge wrench for both of you when you say goodbye at the university gates. The most important thing is to encourage regular communication and always be there for them.
Try our section on Letting Go for some tips.
You will soon find out that the real cost of going to university is not the £1,150 p.a. tuition fees but the annual living costs which can exceed £7,000 p.a. So you need to help your child spend money wisely and save on costs where possible. They will most likely need books, computers, sports equipment, bikes etc. Regrettably, it’s a fact of life that there is often a theft problem in student accommodation. So they need insurance for their possessions etc and students are not exactly regarded as a low risk prospect by most insurers.
You can find help on these matters in the section on Student Essentials.